PHASE 1

Step 1: Put on a Blindfold.

Step 2: Get a map of the world.

Step 3: Get Six or Seven Darts. Throw them at the map of the world

Step 4: Write down the locations where your darts managed to hit. These will be the locations James Bond travels to.

PHASE 2

Step 1: Put on a Blindfold

Step 2: Grab a poster of the human skeleton.

Step 3: Throw ONE dart at the Poster of the human skeleton

Step 4: Write down the name of bone that the dart hit. This will be the limb that the villain is missing. Replace that bone with a HUEG METAL THING that looks absolutely nothing like how that bone should look.

PHASE 3

Step 1: Put on a Blindfold

Step 2: Grab a poster of the periodic table

Step 3: Throw a dart at the poster of the periodic table. If you land on a gas, a liquid, or something stupid, like "Tin" then try again, you moron. You need something Awesome sounding, or Radioactive.

Step 4: Write down the name of the metal. This will be the metal that the bad guy is selling to the Commies/Nazis/Terrorists. In other words, what the bad guy is profiting from.

Step 5: Roll a dice

IF IT'S A ONE OR A TWO: The villain is selling this to Nazis.
IF IT'S A THREE OR A FOUR: The villain is selling this to Commies.
IF IT'S A FIVE OR A SIX: The villain is selling this to Terrorists.

PHASE 4

Step 1: Roll a dice

Step 2: See what number the dice landed on.

IF IT'S A ONE: The love intrest is a MORON who can't fend for herself and needs James Bond to rescue her ALL THE TIME

IF IT'S A TWO: The love intrest can fend for herself, but needs a weapon or something to do so. Also her father/uncle/grandpa plays a relatively important role in the plot.

IF IT'S A THREE: The love intrest is a Super-Ninja-Kung Fu-Master and manages to save James Bond at least once. She probably doesn't speak English.

IF IT'S A FOUR: The love intrest seems really really cool in the beginning, but ends up betraying James Bond in the end.

IF IT'S A FIVE: The love intrest hates James Bond, but still ends up sleeping with him because she's a harlot.

IF IT'S A SIX: The love intrest is the most perfect woman to have ever existed, past present and future, who is loyal and faithful, and stays with James Bond till the very end, and they get married and go on their honeymoon and have lots and lots of children, and grand children!!! YAAAY!!! <3 <3 <3

If you get a six, ROLL AGAIN, DUMBASS! That's NOT A JAMES BOND MOVIE. Maybe an Indiana Jones Movie, but NOT A JAMES BOND MOVIE.

PHASE 5:

Step 1: Pick the most Third-World location out of all your locations. This is where the movie will start after the beginning sequence. Flip a coin. If heads, this country's embassy will explode. If tails, there's a car chase, which is really badass and awesome, and various things explode along the way.

Step 2: Take all the other locations, The name of the villain (It's usually "Doctor" followed by the name of the bone he's missing.) The name of the girl (Who has a name with a subliminal message, usually having to do with sex.) and the name of the Metal, and write them all down individually on different sheets of paper. (Be sure to give each location their own piece of paper as well.)

Step 3: Take all the peices of paper (You should have around ten) And throw them into a hat. Draw them out one by one, and write down the locations, the name of the girl, the villian, the metal, etcetera, In the order that you drew them out. When you're finished, you should have something along the lines of this:

The Embassy in Quandahar Afghanistan explodes (This is from step 1, by the way.)
Paris, France
Einsteinium (Commies)
Ykaterinberg, Russia
Penny Feelwell (Rolled a Five)
Doctor Scapula
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Mufreesboro, Tennessee
Cairo, Egypt
Sri Lanka, India

SOME MORE THINGS TO ADD:

*If you have a dart in the United Sates, that location is automatically LOS VEGAS, NEVADA.

*In between the last peice of paper, and the second to last piece of paper, write down "The scene where they have to jump out of the plane without a parachute."

*RIGHT AFTER THE LAST PIECE OF PAPER, write down "They meet the villain who was waiting for them. (If you rolled a four for the girl, this is where we learn she's a traitor) Then, the villain and James Bond have a big epic fight, and James Bond wins, gets the girl, and goes home. BUT IN THE NEXT MOVIE THE GIRL IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN."

So, your list should actually look like this.

The Embassy in Quandahar Afghanistan explodes (This is from step 1, by the way.)
Paris, France
Einsteinium (Commies)
Ykaterinberg, Russia
Penny Feelwell (Rolled a Five)
Doctor Scapula
Buenos Aires, Argentina
LOS VEGAS, NEVADA
Cairo, Egypt
The scene where they have to jump out of the plane without a parachute
Sri Lanka, India
They meet the villain who was waiting for them. (If you rolled a four for the girl, this is where we learn she's a traitor) Then, the villain and James Bond have a big epic fight, and James Bond wins, gets the girl, and goes home. BUT IN THE NEXT MOVIE THE GIRL IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN.

This is what you'll base your story off of. So my story would be like this:

The Embassy explodes in Quandahar, Afghanistan. James Bond hears of this, and goes to Paris France, where we learn that there are trade routes selling Einsteinium to the Commies. (It doesn't matter if the explosion in the beginning has to do with this or not). In Ykaterinberg Russia, we meet Penny Feelwell, who is really hates James Bond, but James Bond sleeps with her instantaneously. Also in Russia, James Bond learns that the man selling Einsteinium to the Commies is DOCTOR SCAPULA. They head towards his hideout in Buenos Aires, Argentina, which is actually a TRAP! And both him and Penny Feelwell get sent to LOS VEGAS NEVADA. Anyway, after they escape, they head towards Cairo, which is where they learned where the REAL hideout was, but just before they break into Doctor Scapula's hideout, they get sent on a plane which is about to crash, so they have to jump out of the plane without a parachute, and they land in Sri Lanka. They meet Doctor Scapula who was waiting for them. Then, Doctor Scapula and James Bond have a big epic fight, and James Bond wins, gets the girl, and goes home. BUT IN THE NEXT MOVIE THE GIRL IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN.

PHASE 6:

YOU'RE DONE! TAKE YOUR STORY AND PITCH IT TO COLUMBIA/TRISTAR!